Information for Parents and Teachers

How To Use Time-Out Discipline 

What is a time out?

When your child is doing something that is unacceptable, time-out helps stop it and change the situation. Time-out sends him/her away from the trouble spot, and into an isolated area. The time-out area should be easily accessible, and in such a location that the child can be easily monitored while in time-out. It's best used with children aged 2 years to 12 years.

How should you do time out?

Do not give endless warnings and empty threats. Do not shout. Time-out should occur in a non interesting yet safe place. Your child should not be allowed to watch television or to interact with other people when in time-out, including you. Send your child to the time-out area. If he/she doesn't go there immediately, lead him/her by the hand or carry him/her. When you're putting your child in time-out, briefly explain what he/she has done so he/she can connect the behaviour with the time-out. A simple phrase such as ‘No hitting’ is enough.

Do not lecture and do not spank. Time-out is not the time for teaching or preaching. Do not negotiate with a child in time-out. Completely ignore him/her, even if he shouts, bangs or apologizes. When time-out is over, it is over. Create a fresh start by offering a new activity. Don’t discuss the unwanted behaviour, just move on.

How long should time-out last?

Time-out should last 1 minute for each year of your child's age. It should not last for more than 5 minutes. You can use a kitchen timer. Make sure you put it where your child can see and hear it. If he/she leaves time-out, put him/her back quickly and reset the timer. This teaches him/her that you mean what you say. Be consistent! Some double the time-out period for such offenses as hitting, severe temper tantrums, and destruction of property. [Note: ADHD children may benefit from shorter times than those suggested above].

What about other children?

If your other children touch the timer, or tease their brother or sister in time-out, they should be also placed in time-out.

How does time-out end?

Make it clear that you are in control of when time-out ends. Go to your child's corner and say, ‘Time-out is over. You can get up now.’ Clear the air. When time-out is over, it's over. Reminders or lectures after time-out may lead to the same misbehaviour. It's better to comfort your child. If your child repeats the behaviour that led to the time-out in the first place, repeat the whole process. If used properly, time-out will eventually work.

Remember, your child should know that time-out is directed toward the misbehaviour not him/her. It's important not to hurt your child's self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust, or feelings of abandonment.

Advantages of Time Out

It is less evasive than other procedures, such as physical punishment. It eliminates a lot of yelling and screaming on the part of the parents. It increases the probability that parents are going to be consistent about what is going to be punished, when and how. The child learns to accept his own responsibility for undesirable behaviour.

The parents are not punishing the child; rather the child is punishing himself. The child should be repeatedly told that the parents did not put him or her in time-out but that the child put himself in time-out. The child more readily learns to discriminate which behaviours are acceptable and which are unacceptable. The child begins to learn more self-control. By keeping a written record of time-outs parents can see if the procedure is reducing the targeted behaviour. Also, reward can be tied to only receiving a certain amount of time-outs in a day or a smaller time period.

Strategies for Handling Refusal or Resistance

While time-out works well, it can only work when the child actually serves the time out. There are a number of ways to handle refusal. None of them will work for all children. You may have to experiment to determine which one will work for your child. Tell younger children that you will count to three and if they are not in time-out when you get to three the time-out will be doubled. Very difficult children, such as those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, may need to be placed on a short reward program. This could include a chart with 20 to 30 squares. Each time a child does a time-out, the child gets a star or sticker on the chart. When the chart is full they can earn a special treat for learning how to do time-out.

Use Response Cost

Select an activity or object you can take away. Tell the child that until they do the time-out, they will not be able to use the object or engage in the activity. For instance, you can remove the cord from the TV and tell them that they may not watch TV or play a video game until they do the time-out.

Extracts from: Child Development Institute of America Magazine Developed by the Canadian Paediatric Society Psychosocial Paediatrics Committee.